forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
