Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
