i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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