How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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