I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
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