hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I fill condoms, not promises.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
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