He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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