id be glad to
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Randomize
