I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize