You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I have aggressive nipples.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
