he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
