I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
When are your genitals available?
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
