Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
This toilet bowl is my home.
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