i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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