Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
