Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
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