we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
