It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
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