Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
