I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
