I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
