Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
