how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Randomize