I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Randomize