Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
