no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
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