just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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