so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
A bitchslap is in order.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Randomize
