we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
not ubering you a puppy
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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