she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize
