K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
My vagina is officially offended.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
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