so that wasnt chicken after all
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
