My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
cat food counts as protein by the way
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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