i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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