The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
How does one acquire holy water?
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
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