He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Randomize
