and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
A+ Viking dick
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
