East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
