That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
