Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
