I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
