He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
