What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Are we still banned from the library?
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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