and my herpes radar will keep us safe
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
