I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
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