i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Randomize
