he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
