dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Randomize
