i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
