A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
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