I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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