super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Randomize
