I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
