I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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