He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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