Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Ladies don't puke and tell
Randomize
