false alarm. still invincible.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
