Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Randomize
