I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Randomize
