dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Your cock deserves a montage
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Randomize
