just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize