What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
